I submitted myself for judgement

I did it…I can’t believe I just did it…I have serious butterflies in my stomach, tears are in my eyes because I’m so nervous.  What if they don’t like it?  What if I’ve been kidding myself for 13 years?  What if my dream is about to get crushed?  Holy shit! I can’t take it back! Breath – just breath.  I think this is the hardest thing I’ve done since piano guilds when I was in high-school.   I submitted 3 pieces of my art to be judged by Artist Magazine and in a local art exhibition.  I’m going to be judged on talent and style, one of the most subjective things to be judged on in this world, but is also the most personal.  I put myself into these paintings, they are mine, they are me, so when they judge my art, I’ll take it as judging me. Ever since I found my style of painting, I’ve dreamt of painting all the time, sharing my style with others in workshops, and having painting classes out of my home.  And now, I fear that if I don’t do well, my dream would really just be a fantasy.  When I compare myself to professional artists, I see their experience; the awards they’ve won, the galleries they are in, the ‘Sold’ signs on almost all of their paintings, and I think to myself,  ‘I’m out of my league’.  I don’t have an art degree, I don’t do this every day, I don’t beat the pavement to get into galleries, I don’t do a lot of things that professional artists do.  And from what I see, my painting style is romantic and feminine which is very different from the artists I’m competing against – but who knows, maybe that will help me – I HAVE NO IDEA! The last thought I had before I submitted my paintings for judgement “so I just have a lot of doubt and fear; I can’t let that rule me!” {submit} Here are the 3 pieces I submitted, two of them you haven’t seen yet.     What-are-you-looking-at_5mg-0016 Posturing_5mg-0010 First-Dance-Recital_5mg-0002 So here it goes, I’m already out there and I can’t take it back, I’m letting myself be judged by real art professionals.

  • Stephanie @ PlainChicken.com
    June 22, 2014, 7:41 am

    OMG! I thought the cat painting was a photo! You are amazingly talented.

    • Stephanie
      June 22, 2014, 8:49 am

      Thanks Stephanie! That one is probably one of my favorites; it really captures that cat look of annoyance :)

  • Susan Harris
    June 25, 2014, 10:07 am

    As you know Stephanie, I was an Art Major…you’re far ahead of me in that you have the bravery to put yourself out there. That’s the hardest part of being an artist. Best of luck and no matter the outcome, you have great talent! Keep painting!

    • Stephanie
      June 25, 2014, 12:07 pm

      Wow thank you so much! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate someone with you knowledge of art actually saying I’ve got talent! Thank you!!!