My First Encounter with the Alpha Mom

This soccer season my Hubby volunteered to be a Coach. When he first told me over the phone he was calling me from his “Man Conference” in Orlando.  My first thought was ‘crap, don’t I do enough‘ and what I said was “Do you know how much Coach’s wives do? I hope you have plans to handle all of that yourself because I really don’t see how I can help with all of that!”

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Ben said, “What do you mean?”

“Who is going to handle the practices/games while you’re at Reserves? Remember, I’ve got surgery on the 10th.”

There was a pause in his response “Oh I forgot about that, don’t worry about it, I can handle it.”

To his credit, he has been handling it.  The weekend following  my surgery he had reserves and he requested the game to be moved to Monday evening, and the league moved it, thankfully.

Well two weeks later I finally got to go to a soccer game: Em’s was first at 9, then LilMan’s was at 11.  On the car ride over to the 9 o’clock soccer game I asked “do we need to bring snacks for LilMan’s game?”

“No, one of the other moms has been taking care of snacks.”

“Oh, so you found someone to help coordinate this stuff?”

To which Ben replied with a huge grin that crinkled his eyes ” Oh yeah, I was talking to some of the guys at work who have coached before about getting help from the parents with organizing snacks and such. They said, don’t worry about it: look for the ‘Alpha Mom’. ”

This peaked my interest, I’d never heard this term before “‘Alpha Mom': what’s an ‘Alpha Mom’?”

Still grinning, “It’s a mom who wants to be in control of everything. They said you’ll know the  ‘Alpha Mom’ because she’ll ask a bunch of questions like: what is the concession stand schedule, how are practices going to be run, what is the snack schedule – stuff like that or she’ll be glad to tell you ‘what you should do’. Once I found that ‘Alpha Mom’, she took care of those schedules.”

“Which one is the ‘Alpha Mom’?”

“You’ll see.”

This is what I like about sports, the people…most of the time the sport part bores the heck out of me, but the people are interesting.  I couldn’t wait for the game!!!  Even through Em’s soccer game, I got a bit bored and started planning with Ben the end of the season party for the kids and getting estimates on my little iPhone. So I get to plan a party :) – I think I’ll make cupcakes that look like soccer balls :) – but I digress…

Sure enough, at LilMan’s game the Alpha Mom started talking to me within 5 minutes of the game starting with a barrage of questions/comments.

I was at the soccer game, standing up cheering for two of the other boys (not mine) and a rather large redheaded woman turned around in her captains chair and asked “Are you their mom?”

“No, I’m Tyler’s mom”

She gave me the once-over and said “Oh so you’re Ben’s wife! We were beginning to think you didn’t exist.”

“I haven’t been able to participate because of a surgery” and I continued a little uncomfortable  because I didn’t want to talk about it by saying “not suppose to sweat and stuff for a bit.”

Again, she gave me the once over “Oh, what did you have surgery on?”

Not wanting to get into personal affairs I told a lie, and I spoke of a surgery I had last year to remove some potential skin cancer.

She promptly moved on to say “Well, we have been taking turns providing snacks; can you handle Monday’s snacks?” Making a grand hand gesture to herself,  “Last week I took care of the snack and brought pop rocks and a prize. This week Soandso [can’t remember the name] is taking care of it, after you Soandso [can’t remember the name] is taking care of it.”

Perhaps I’m a stick in the mud mom, but pop rocks at the end of a 7 o’clock game along with a trinket – are you kidding me! Let’s just sugar them up right before bed time – in what world is that a good idea? So I ask, knowing full well the answer, but ask anyway to prove the point “What time is Monday’s game?”

Again, I get the once over “It’s at 6?”

“Ah, ok.  So, I’ll provide the same snacks that I usually did for the t-ball games: Baby Bell cheese, apple sauce and water.  It’s a nice sugar-free snack that close to bed-time.”

After I closed out that conversation, I moved to the other side of the field where the players were suppose to be sitting on the bench, but the 5 year old “squirms” prevented them from behaving without supervision.  I stood in the shade and helped keep the kids busy while Ben and the assistant coach worked with the kids on the field.

I’m curious, did I just make myself the Alpha Mom? I’m not sure, because I definitely don’t want anything to do with scheduling the snacks, concession stands and stuff.  But the party is mine.:)

Have you guys ever heard of ‘Alpha Mom’?  Based on what you’ve read; Do you think you are an ‘Alpha Mom’?

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  • September 26, 2012, 7:12 am

    Ummm, I didn’t think I was the Alpha Mom before I read this…not I am not so sure anymore. I had never heard that term before, either…you have scholared me!  :-)

    • September 27, 2012, 9:11 am

       Hey :) My Husband and I were talking about your comment this morning:  I also was scholared by his conversation – it’s funny what guys talk about. :)  I’ll very likely become an Alpha Mom if I see my kids not getting a fair shot or something.  But this young and less competitive sport I’m glad to sit back and enjoy. :)

      As I find out more of these little manly conversations I’ll gladly share :), and feel free to share yours as well. :)